Happy Publiversary, Raine O'Tierney! Thoughts and #Giveaways!

Raine O'Tierney turns two today.

I heard a Fall Out Boy song on the radio today. Centuries. There was this line I liked a lot...

I was only born inside my dreams...

And I feel like that sums up the last two years. Being a published author has been my dream since I was a little girl. Then it just happened like magic! Ha. No, that's not right at all. I hid in a ball of fear for a decade until some good friends and co-workers clawed and scratched at my ball. I then uncurled long enough to look at a business card from Dreamspinner Press. There was paralyzing fear, self-doubt, tears. I was rejected, accepted, rejected again by a slew of publishers. In the past two years I've experienced being an author with a large publisher of gay romance as well as an indie, profit-share publisher. I've written several free novellas. I've received letters from people who said I changed their lives with my words and cruel reviews that almost broke my spirit. I've won awards and I've been snubbed. I've made friends and lost them through time, distance, or shitty mistakes. I discovered the joys of collaboration and the horrible addiction of being fed by others' praise. Looking back at my original bucket list, I got my audiobook, but not my Newbery. ;) I wrote for myself and I wrote for other people. And then I lost myself...

Completely.

And totally.

So that I no longer knew what I was doing or why I was doing it.

The full phrase of that line I liked so much from Fall Out Boy's Centuries goes like this:

And I can't stop 'til the whole world knows my name...

I have been so focused on who knows me and what they think about me, that I stopped writing. Writing for joy wasn't good enough--I had to write for fame. But what the hell is fame? Because being famous doesn't make the Goodreads reviews cut any less, and being famous doesn't mean you suddenly doubt yourself any less. All that crappy drama you brought into "fame" is still there. But worse.

So this year I offer you no bucket list. Just a few private promises and a shift in world view as I write for myself again.

--Raine O'Tierney

*~*~My Books~*~*

Ps. Oh, you came for prizes, didn't you? :) I suppose we can do a giveaway!

*~*~GIVEAWAY!~*~*

So, what are we giving away?

How about an Audible copy of Bowl Full of Cherries, a set of 3 of my titles in eBook (your choice!), and one of three The Sweetness stickers? <3

a Rafflecopter giveaway